Retrospect: I haven't learned much.

This afternoon, I was cleaning out my basement.
Trust me, it gets more interesting than that.

After an hour of organizing my records, several shelves of books (all belonging to me), and some other random nonsensical items, I came across a giant Tupperware tub filled with notebooks.

I, at some point, decided I needed to save all of my notes/papers/flash cards/etc. from all of my years in college.

Here are some highlights from my notebooks. If there is no introduction/explanation, assume that it’s written somewhere, on some page, in some notebook next to other, more important/coherent things:

From a Spanish notebook, I have the essential translation of ‘la estetica de fealdad’- the aesthetic of ugliness. No further explanation granted in said notebook.

“Today’s Lecture: We’re Fucked and Here’s Why”

“Barney Frank. D-MA. GAY” (underlined several times)

“British Parliament:
Lots more yelling.”

Sometimes I write quotations down that other idiots in class might utter. Here’s a good one: “Do Republicans have a problem with trans-fats?”

Oh, another good one. Next to a smudge where a chunk of dark chocolate was laid on my notebook, the words “the last piece is yours” with an arrow. Thanks, Ema.

“rats and feces stories”

10/27 (large, scrawled letters) I NEED COFFEE. Walk to elbow room with me afterward?

Written conversation between Ema and I after some dumb girl in our class was talking about how she was friends with the governor of Maine:
Me: GOOD FOR YOU.
Ema: (happy clapping retard kid)
Me: well…my family hangs out with important people too. Should I raise my hand and say that my uncle shook Bill Clinton’s hand?
Ema: ABSOLUTELY.

“I’m just writing down random phrases so it looks like I’m paying attention”

“killer of children rather than making own line propagate” (?)

“Wales is fucked, Scotland is screwed”

“debagging: ripping off men’s pants.”

“Boy gets girl. General celebration. End.”

“sex vs. diseased sex”

“sex=death, syphyilis”

In notebook on Evelyn Waugh: “Racist. Sexist. Homophobic, classist, enjoyed being offensive and rude. Bigot. Snob. Politics of T.S. Eliot. Partied, got fired from all jobs. Drank, did drugs. Blatant alcoholic. Left Oxford without degree.”

“pain & cruelty= funny.”

“clean, square, modern. i.e.: Cutter-Z.”

“like trying to write a travel book on Hoboken, New Jersey.”

“Laura dies of black plague, 1348.”

“Henry VII: typical younger brother. Stubborn, impatient.”

“Shot in leg. Leg turns gangrenous. = Protestant hero.”

“what’s with Yeats and birds?”

“England: no onions or citrus fruits”

comments on a paper:
“Laura—I like the way you construct both the thesis and the argument here—while these two writers look completely different, there’s a lot to be learned from what they have in common. Like the Odd Couple!”

On another paper:
Laura—you offer here a highly insightful treatment of Platonic Forms. Excellent work! Your comments on how Plato might draw on his theory in order to block the regress from starting are highly perceptive. A.”
… I could not at this point recall exactly what Platonic Forms or the regression theory are. Oh well.

“literature today: cigar, volcano.”

“spend= ejaculate”

“it’s not that great to be Irish”

“getting raped by swan.”

“carves giant slabs of meat before father= very aristocratic”

“it snowed meat and drink of all possible kinds in his house”

“high, goatish voice”

“Deeply disturbing. Steals children.”

“wedlock is a paradise= misconception thus far. Wants young sex partner.”

“Adam and Eve- blindly clenching a phallus”

“sodomy wasn’t a huge deal in England.”

“swearing= worse than homicide”

“rhymes exquisitely elsewhere; then it becomes shitty”

“image of poppet: portly, ample waisted”
(Will Morgan called me poppet a few times. Now I shall hit him.)

“why put this in the mouths of chickens?”

“why so sluttish?”

“artistic temperament: his soul is female.”

“Resolution. Problem. Resolution.”

The following are from Michael Thurston’s American Lit class. I was in the class with several close friends. It was a big class. We often wrote ridiculous things to each other in my notes.

“Where are you in Moby(‘s) Dick?”
“Page 1”

“Look at girl in red behind Ali. HAHAHA.”

The name “Mel Gibson” with an arrow drawn to “Slaves” and then the name “Joey”

“shut the fuck uppppp” next to picture of someone vomiting. I can only assume that someone in the class was pattering on about something stupid.

“Length of Moby’s Dick”
Title of notes for 11/8/2008: Moby’s Dick
(this became a significant inside joke.)

“Call me Ishmael. Not his really name.” (wow, I was an English major.)

“what if there IS NO MEANING? (contemporary anxiety)”

written in margin: “did you just say ‘club footing’?”

“Thomas Morton—Woodstock. Beaver hats. Anglican guy. Phallic dancing.”

“parents have your interests at heart. Unlike BOYZ. (sad face)”

“New England writers are bad singers”

“1830’s- Western Frontier to Chicago (not the band)”

“Natty Bumpo—mountain man, a la Lonnie”

“falling of trees= trees can be dangerous.”

“Hawthorne= impotent”

“1+2=3” (Yes, in American Lit notebook)

“Emerson. Nature- “our world is retrospective”. We write about guts, black stuff, slim jims.”

“Judaism= Buddhism” (This was Mareva, in the margin, making fun of someone who essentially made that connection)

“Can you draw some circles on the board?” (another quotation from a lovely class member)

“Intoxicants breed artificial transcendence. Systematic derangement of the senses. So…my great American novel SUCKS.”

“Poe= Alec Baldwin?”

“Thoreau= “Tho-row”. Invented hacky-sacks. Hippie appearance.”
Written directly below that, with an arrow pointing somewhere: “HAHA THAT GIRL WAS SO WRONG”

“quoth Gene Wilder, NEVERMORE”


“fishing with a net…spear…guide”

“birds eat semi-fermented berries (accidentally)”

“Dr. Broya Mookheygree @ IFF” (…?)

That’s it, for now. Funny stuff, eh?